I ASKED MY STEP BROTHER TO TAKE MY VIRGINITY
I was on the phone with her, trying to keep my voice together, and she told me it would be OK. As I heard my siblings getting ready to leave for their friends' houses, I knew my window of opportunity was closing. That was the moment. I hung up the phone, opened my bedroom door, walked down the hallway into the kitchen with my head down, and started crying. All my anger left. All my fear left. I felt exhausted, defeated, and vulnerable. In between sobs, I said, 'I'm gay.' The aftermath: I had less support than I realized i would have, which included a mock coming-out party, rainbow-painted cake, and a coming-out CD with Diana Ross' 'I'm Coming Out.'"To tell you the truth, My mom wasn't thrilled at the moment and it took her some time to come around with the idea (to tell you truthfully, i'm still waiting for her to come around) I knew I eventually needed to tell my dad. I went to my parents one night and was talking with them. My mom asked me if I had anything to say to them. My. "I'll say you did."He shook his head. "Unbelievably, I began to believe my own propaganda. I brooded on it. I managed to convince myself that maybe you really HAD cheated on me with David. I guess it was a case of thinking if I was cheating, then maybe you could have been also. It eased my guilt. As long as I could in some twisted way make myself the victim it was simple to go on with the affair."I changed the subject. "Do you know why I left?" I thought you had taken all you could. I thought maybe you had run off for a little bit, that I had pushed things too far. But I thought you would be back. I was all set to 'forgive you' and hope that everything would somehow return to normal. You didn't come back and you didn't come back. Then I got the divorce decree." He snorted. "The clerk never even told anyone she had filed it. I had never even dreamed you would do that, I never thought to inquire. The whole thing was another stick to keep you from seeing what was really going on." By.
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