I took her hand and held it in bothof my own hands. I was choked up."And then I reassured her. I told not to worry, that I was the womanHerb had been sleeping with since last Spring. Exclusively, I wassure, because we were meeting so very often and each session was so... exhausting for both of us. That her marriage was perfectlysafe, so far as I was concerned. That I hoped mine was as safe." "Eva said she knew, or had suspected as much, but that she'd hadto hear it from me. And then she cried, just a little. It was sosweet! Then we talked about you, how to keep you safe for me, evenfrom her, and still keep everyone happy."I was still holding Sara's hand. I didn't dare look up into herdeep blue eyes now, even though I knew they were staringinto my face. I didn't dare let myself look anywhere or feelanything, not just yet. I touched one of her fingernails gently. Then I said as quietly as I could, "You've been sleeping with Herb?" No more often than you've been sleeping. After pulling back from Char, she said, “You’ll be nervous wearing it, like Kim was, but she got used to it.”I could feel Char tense on my right side, and it looked like she was bucking herself up to say something, but I was surprised when she said, “If you’ve all done it, I want you girls to remind me of that and help me overcome any nervousness or outright fear.”Heather looked at her lovingly, then answered with, “We can do that, but we don’t want to push you too hard.”“No! You’ve been pushing me gently and I’ve gotten better about my ... tentativeness with you, but I want to get to where you are ... with ... all of this. You’re my second family, and I want there to be absolutely no barriers anywhere amongst us. Is Kim as ... shy as I am?”“With a couple things, but mostly not, although her recent ... I guess, epiphany, about her with us has made her much more confident.”“That’s what I want, that confidence.” Less emphatically, she added, “I want the confidence I have on the pitch to.
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