Good sherry was one of my vices. I poured a healthy glass and, putting a CD by Julie London on, I went to bed early. I listened to her singing, ‘Cry Me a River’ and that’s sure what I felt like doing – crying a river of tears. As I lay there I realized I had put my ghosts to bed forever. Jerry had been hurt, he might have been killed. I felt his pain, but it was his pain, not mine. What hurt me was that when something actually did happen to him — I wasn’t there to support him. When he needed me, really needed me, I wasn’t there. That was my shame and I had to find a way to make it right with him. I knew he loved me still – although I sometimes wondered why. I had been such a bitch. I had to find a way to make things right with him. It was going to be hard for him to leave his chosen life and I wanted to walk beside him on the journey, hand in hand, step by step. Maybe it was the wine or maybe it was the new clarity of my understanding of what Jerry meant to me and how important his. Rose closed the door and walked around the store idly looking at things while waiting for her nipples to calm down, because she wasn't going up to the counter looking like that. It was very fashionable for the girls to walk around braless these days, but it was not really the look Rose felt comfortable with. It was a good thing it was quiet that time of day in the store.From around the front of the store, Paul came down the aisle she was in, returning some items to their proper place on the shelves. He smiled when he saw Rose."Far out! That looks really good Mrs. Blaine" Paul said with an grin on his face that continued to grow wider by the minute. "What I wouldn't give for a couple of those on a day like today!"Rose laughed and told him he was too young for such vices, while shifting the beer from one hand to the other. Just then Rose realized that he hadn't been looking at the beer, but at her chest. Rose flushed with embarassment under Paul's persistent gazing and walked around him.
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