Although he could see he was traveling down a slippery slope, he kept telling himself that he could stop anytime he desired. He just was enjoying his sick twisted games too much to stop at this time. One would think that a doctor of all people would be able to see the fallacy of such logic but apparently, he could not. As a fringe benefit he performed the surgery on his all female staff, of course, he didn’t mention the benefit was for his enjoyment not his staff’s. Soon he found he was putting on so many ‘Puppet Shows’ as he called them that he had to begin turning away new surgeries for lack of time. Even worse to his practice was his waning desire to perform good surgeries. He found he no longer cared if he did a procedure correctly or not. After a couple of horrific mal-practice suits he lost not only his insurance but also his license to practice medicine. Still this lost soul could not see how precariously close he was to the edge. As his whole life began to crumble around. I also tested variations of the hangman’s knot, gradually increasing the time I could hang to almost thirty minutes before I needed to release the rope. I also made minor adjustments in the length of the rope, so that in the final stages of the noose tightening around my neck, the toes of my high heels would be just an inch away from the floor.Then, one night it happened. My lungs felt like they were on fire, and I was blissfully on the verge of blacking out, so I let go of the rope, and nothing happened. I was still hanging. I knew I was close to losing conscious as I desperately tried to grab the rope to attempt to free it, but it kept slipping through my fingers. The next thing I remember was waking up on the floor with the early morning sunlight shining through the window.In the years since, I’ve never figured out what the rope caught on, or why it came loose before I died, but I haven’t indulged in my autoerotic asphyxiation fetish since that fateful night. That is until.
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