I’ve just finished the whole house before realizing the vacuum wasn’t plugged in.It’s okay if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right.How’s your day if it’s good you’ll need wine to celebrate! If it’s bad you’ll need wine to feel better!Never walk a mile in my shoes. You will just end up drunk, lost and looking for your shoes.If a woman says do what you want. Do not do what want, standstill. Do not blink. Don’t even agree. Just play dead.Yes officer, I didn’t see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you!This group is compliments of Alan B.Still more hand-picked lousy humor...Why is a woman like a condom? Because both spend more time in your wallet than on your penis.My girlfriend’s dad asked me what I do. Apparently “Your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.The teacher asked Jimmy, “Why is your cat at school today, Jimmy” Jimmy replied, crying, “Because I heard my dad. It was easy to do as we both had educations in touristy things. He was in hotel/restaurant management and I am a massage ther****t. This young guy (almost called him boy, damn i'm getting old) was a co-worker at the resort I worked at. I could tell he liked me but he knew I was married and seemed hesitant to go beyond friendly playful flirting. I hadn't told him I swing. Some people are a little uncomfortable with that or once they find out they assume your a slut. I am a slut but its not something I want to advertise to the whole world. I told my husband about the guy and he encouraged me to give it a push and make the first move. Which of course I did. I asked him out for a friendly drink after work and he said ok. We went out for coffee and lunch a few more times but the guy (I'll call him Joe) wasn't getting the hint even though he kept staring at my tits alot (36c). Finally we happened to get the same days off for once and he asked me over to his place to watch a.
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