And I was at least at the stage of saying ‘I upset myself’ rather than ‘Lue upset me’, but how much further I could change those beliefs would be severely tested over the years to come. Lue and I were married five years after we met and, as we had both been saving and working hard in quite well-paid jobs, we were able to take out a mortgage on a house and settle down as husband and wife. We planned on having a family, so it was a large house. Life was good. We had been married about a year when Lue came home one evening with some news. ‘I got a new boss today’ she said. The company had set up a new research project and Lue was to become assistant to the project chief. A week later, she came home on the Friday evening and told me that she and Bruce, her new boss, had been out to lunch together. ‘I won’t need much for dinner tonight,’ she said. ‘Bruce and I had a very long lunch today. He took me out to talk over the project and how we will be working together on it. We start on. And it wasn’t her voice either that was now squealing and moaning into the darkness, her voice was never that coarse and her inner dictionary contained a lot more than the couple of words she seemed to know now.Unable to think or speak clearly every nerve in her body suddenly but hardly unexpectedly exploded with pain that was not painful, easing the physical and mental tension that had built up inside her in one blink of an eye and then leaving her muscles in that wonderful floating state between relaxed and unable to tighten if her life depended on it.Mona sank into the tree and when her vision finally cleared her nakedness and the damage the rough bark had done to her skin came through the fog she was glad for the darkness that prevented all the eyes that weren’t around from seeing how she blushed, scolding herself with that insufferable grin that spoke of adventure and having to pay for it later at the same time.Mona exhaled deeply and allowed her lungs to fill with fresh air,.
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