I tried to think of touching girls (them) and having them love me back but I didn't feel anything inside that made me want to go find a girl even my age to be with. As he got a little closer to me, he looked up from talking to his friend he was with and gave me a big smile and waved at me as he started to skip into his driveway and disapear beyond some vehicles in the yard as he headed in his house. His friend kept going and soon it was all quiet again exept for my thoughts again thinking abouit Ronald.I was getting a boner in my underwear again now and I what the rest of the day was going to be like. I prayed that Ronald was going to like me and promised to myself that I would not do anything to Ronald that hevdid not want to have done to him. I then went inside my apartment and sat at the kitchen table listening to the muffeled sound from outside and watching the kitchen clock on the wall.About five minutes passed and all of a sudden I heard the outside back dooor. Acoarse sack, burlap or jute, is pulled down over your head, andyour arm is twisted behind you, by someone you can't see. "Don'tmake a noise, Anglo bitch, or you are dead right now" says avoice which sounds as if the teeth are clenched. In seconds, youwas dragged into the van and pushed to the floor. You can feelit back up, stop with a lurch, and then move forward, makingseveral turns, probably turning at every intersection. Strong hands roll you on your back. Counting hands, theremust be at least three men. You feel the hard steel floor of thevan against your back; it is a cargo van, no seats in back. Probably no windows, either, you realize. Unless there werewitnesses to the ramming and abduction, no one could know whereyou are. You feel cold steel against your throat, under the bag whichcovers your eyes. "Listen, Sweetie, you are going to doeverything you are told to do, and you are not going to scream orstruggle or talk back; otherwise, you die right now..
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