It varies.” “Explain.” She exhaled. “Well, are you a virgin? Do you have a hymen, an intact hymen?” She shook her curly head. “I tore it horseback riding. I guess some of it’s left.” “It’s called cherry popping. Boys call it that. Penetrating the hymen, a whole one, it can hurt.” She nodded. “That all?” I licked my lips feeling my cock swelling. Just talking about it made me horny. “Probably hurts young women, and maybe men, more than older ones. Depends on size and, well, consideration. Rape’s got to hurt. It’s violent. Making love shouldn’t hurt.” She nodded and looked away. We sat there silently for a while. “Why’d you ask?” “Heard girls talking about doing it.” “Curious, huh?” She nodded. “You want to try, try to do it?” “What did you mean about size?” “Well, sometimes the boy’s organ is very small, or the girl’s birth canal is. Maybe he is big so they don’t fit together right, easily. That might hurt, hurt one or the other, maybe both. I don’t know.” I looked at her, and she. Once again I found myself outside but this time facing the workhouse. I saw the gates open, and a scared and broken young girl come through them, for the second time that night I was watching myself. I saw episodes of my past life flash threw my mind, some I embraced, some I wanted to run from. The years were flying by in an instant, was I dying? Suddenly I found myself in Tim’s home. I watched my other self look into his eyes and say the words I had long kept buried ‘I love you’. Felt my heart fill with joy as he whispered ‘I love you too’, then in an instant felt that same heart shatter into a thousand pieces as he said ‘I am no good to you, go on with your life, find someone who can make you happy, it can never be me.’ he had also been scared by episodes in his life, a man who did not have the confidence to recognize the man he was, deep inside, no matter how I tried to tell him my love was real and I only wanted him, could only be happy in his arms, he was too afraid to take a.
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